I will be relaunching & moving my blog. I am planning on relaunching in Jan 2017 and I am still planning exactly where I will be moving. When more information is available I will let you know. I have also removed a lot of my posts except the ones that I feel are important.
What Anxiety Attacks Can Feel Like
16:00
You start out with one passing thought, that you probably didn't even notice or just brushed off. Then you start to notice this small weight in your gut, like a stone in the pit of your stomach, again you brush it off, "it nothing just ignore it" you tell yourself and that works for about 5 minutes. The stone starts growing, just a little every passing minute. You don't notice it for a while then you remember that the weight in your stomach was lighter and 15 minutes later the growing stops. You're relieved you think its over. But of course it starts growing again, this time its the size of a small boulder. Your heart starts to flutter. The growing tapers off, again relief washes over you.
Although the boulder has stopped growing its still there. You try as hard as humanly possible to push this feeling away, but you can't. The awareness of everything, everything around you, everything you feel, everything you think consumes you, its all you can notice. Whats worse though, you now think you know what set this whole thing off but what if you're wrong? "of course you're wrong, you're always wrong", that the anxiety talking there. Again you try to push it away this time though with less conviction. You know it won't work, it never does.
Your thoughts are racing, you can't catch even one to hold onto, as soon as you reach its gone. Your thought, they're going 100 miles a second. You start hyperventilating, maybe even crying. You desperately want it to go away, you're pleading for it to stop. "Why are doing this? you're blowing this way out of proportion", thats you're rationale coming through. As soon as it comes its gone. You stay with this heaviness, racing thoughts, heart fluttering, heavy breathing and dizziness from anywhere to another 15 minutes to another 5 hours. When it goes away the relief sets in, for good this time, but you know it will happen again but for these few seconds you breathe in and enjoy.
- Aimée
- Aimée
* - this was written in the middle of an anxiety attack
Fatigue
14:00
The fatigue it's debilitating, it consumes you, it comatose's you.
Even if you wake up refreshed 2 hours later your back in that fatigue coma, confused because you didn't do anything to make you this tired.
You try to reason with it but you can't fatigue doesn't reason, it knows no logic, no rational.
It just hits you, like a truck, with no reason, no goal, no mission.
It's completely useless, it make you feel useless and lets be honest you are when you're like this,
but you have goals and adventures you want to do, you need to do
but this fatigue consumes ever last part of you and makes it almost impossible for you to see the finish line.
- Aimée
Introduction...
19:20
First off my name is Aimée, the spelling and the pronunciation is French. I grew up just having my name pronounced as Amy and still do as it would be way to long to try and teach people how the french say it. I am 17, I live in Australia with my mum and two dogs. I am a Tafe student studying community services. Now a bit about what I want to focus on here and why.
Since I was about 3 years old I was picking out my own clothes and putting together outfits for myself, when I couldn't even walk anytime we walked into a clothing section I would get visibly excited, other people would stare at this tiny child beaming at all pretty clothes around me. What I'm trying to say is I love fashion always have, I would send myself asleep dreaming about makeovers, I even told my mum what to dress (sorry mum).
Now on to a bit about my mum, she is awesome at interior design she seriously should have become an interior designer. She is the person who made me fall in love with decorating, I must have wanted to redecorate my room a million times when I was little (thankfully she didn't let me other wise I would have changed it every month).
I have this wild need for creating whether it be writing, drawing, painting or DIY's. If I'm not creating something I feel unproductive and fidgety. In the last 6 months I've really wanted to experiment with metal and wood, candle making and ceramics (hopefully in the future I can try these out).
I love to grab a camera and point it at something I think is interesting or pretty to try and keep it for ever, and even though I haven't done it for years I'm going to try and use this blog to bring that passion back.
These are the things I want to focus on, on Je t'Aimée. I might go off script from time to time talking about causes I am passionate about and even talking about my own life, please just don't hold it against me. My second blog is Je t'Geek.
Since I was about 3 years old I was picking out my own clothes and putting together outfits for myself, when I couldn't even walk anytime we walked into a clothing section I would get visibly excited, other people would stare at this tiny child beaming at all pretty clothes around me. What I'm trying to say is I love fashion always have, I would send myself asleep dreaming about makeovers, I even told my mum what to dress (sorry mum).
Now on to a bit about my mum, she is awesome at interior design she seriously should have become an interior designer. She is the person who made me fall in love with decorating, I must have wanted to redecorate my room a million times when I was little (thankfully she didn't let me other wise I would have changed it every month).
I have this wild need for creating whether it be writing, drawing, painting or DIY's. If I'm not creating something I feel unproductive and fidgety. In the last 6 months I've really wanted to experiment with metal and wood, candle making and ceramics (hopefully in the future I can try these out).
I love to grab a camera and point it at something I think is interesting or pretty to try and keep it for ever, and even though I haven't done it for years I'm going to try and use this blog to bring that passion back.
These are the things I want to focus on, on Je t'Aimée. I might go off script from time to time talking about causes I am passionate about and even talking about my own life, please just don't hold it against me. My second blog is Je t'Geek.
-Aimée
(P.S. It's my birthday in a week)